I felt like a butterfly wrapped in a cacoon because my suit was so tight. I had just put it on and I was already sweating through it. Why was it so hot in this room? Was it because I had been breathing so heavily and fast? Before I knew it I was pushed into a round glass pod and was shot up through a long tube. 20 seconds had gone by and I was still going up. Where was I going? It was starting to get foggy and hot and I was beginning to have trouble breathing. From what I remember on warm days back in district 10, it would get so hot that I would begin to have trouble breathing. Another 10 seconds went by and it started to get so bright that I felt like I was standing on the sun. Finally, the pod came to a stop and I was facing the other tributes with a large cornucopia in the middle of the tropical arena.
It smelled like flowers and fresh salt water. As I glanced around and studied the colorful arena, my body calmed down and my breathing steadied. My sweaty palm wiped the glass to try and clear away the fog. A loud, sturdy voice came an invisible loud speaker and started counting down from 10, 9, 8, 7…. my heart was beating so fast I felt that my whole body was shaking. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, BANG! The pod opened and my feet took me straight to the cornucopia. My brain didn’t know what to do, but my legs surely did. I shot towards the bottled water and also took a bag filled with small gadgets to help stay alive. Once my hands were full, I slipped away quietly from the mass killing and bolted for the trees. When I turned around, there were a few dead and twitching bodies on the ground; I winced at the sight. I didn’t know what my strategy for staying alive would be, all I knew was that I would not kill anyone on purpose.
I think that your use of sensory details was very good. I could picture where you were and what was happening. I think that you expressed your character’s emotions well too. The only thing I would fix is that in the first paragraph you mentioned breathing three times. The first time “Was it because I had been breathing so heavily and fast?” gave the impression that you were already breathing heavily but then your second comment “I was beginning to have trouble breathing.” contradicted your first comment. You also had “From what I remember on warm days back in district 10, it would get so hot that I would begin to have trouble breathing.” right after the second sentence about breathing so it sounded a little repetitive. Next time just make sure to read through before you post.
The blog was very good with great details about your surroundings and how hot you were. But you made a mistake in the second paragraph where you said, ” A loud, sturdy voice came an invisible loud speaker and started counting down from 10, 9, 8, 7…. my heart was beating so fast I felt that my whole body was shaking. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, BANG!” you could have said, A loud sturdy voice came on an invisible loud speaker. Then continued with the rest of the sentence. Overall the blog was very good.
I really liked your post. All of your sensory details really brought everything to life. I thought you did a really good job.